Vegan, Nut-free, Chocolate-Free "Nutella" aka NOTella(!)

What? Is this some kind of joke? No. No, it's not... It just sounds silly. Like egg-less egg salad or pleather.

I'm allergic to chocolate and, usually, about once a month, this is the most terrible thing that has ever happened to me! Today was especially bad, because:

1. it's my "moon time"
2. I feel like a bloated bloaty bloat bag
3. I had to go shopping
4. for a bridesmaid dress
5. I needed to bring my mom to help me
6. who made me try on caftans and house tents and everything else she could find that would make me feel unattractive
   
7. and who demanded See's candy as a reward
8. I had to go into said See's candy, which has nothing in it that I could even pretend that I might be able to eat and
9. someone mentioned Nutella, which not only has dairy, but also has nuts and chocolate, each of which would create an allergic reaction in me alone and
   
10. had me obsessing for hours about how I could possibly eat it without hurting myself
    

Now, I'm pretty comfortable with switching out ingredients, but most of the recipes I found online started with nuts or seemed far more difficult than I, in my shaky weakened feminine state, could even contemplate...

But my google-fu was strong and I found an easy recipe!

The Goodbaker says

Ingredients:
- Smooth nut butter of choice *
- good-quality dark chocolate chips

Preparation:
1) In a double-boiler or microwave-safe bowl, combine 2 parts chocolate chips and 3 parts nut butter.
2) Heat gently and stir until smooth. That’s it!

However, I can't eat nuts or chocolate *and* I read the recipe wrong!

So, I mixed 2 parts Sunbutter with 3 parts Vegan Carob Chips, which is the absolute opposite of what the Goodbaker said to do, but that's what happens when you read a recipe once and feel like you've got it down pat, because it's only two ingredients and how could you mess that up???

I heated the combo up in the microwave for 20 seconds, stirred it a bit, but it was still a little chunky, so I heated it up for another 15 seconds and that allowed me to stir it until it was smooth and...

Voila! Vegan, Nut-free, Chocolate-Free "Nutella"! aka one of the most ridiculous things that I have ever made.

I toasted up a vegan sourdough english muffin and I spread that NOTella(!) over the toasty tops and it was tasty.

I'm not thinking it would fool someone who's had nuts or chocolate any time recently, but it worked for me. Plus, it was super-easy!

Yum!